A Piece Of Cake: A Memoir

God is the central motif in Cupcake’s story, although this is a gradual change that takes years to awaken within her. Cupcake’s early relationship with God was distant and even spiteful, as she always blamed God for taking her mother from her and allowing her to find the body. Cupcake also believed that because she was not perfect, God would not want to help her anyway.

When Cupcake was attacked by Connie and lost her pregnancy, Cupcake again blamed God, wondering why he didn’t stop such a horrible thing from happening to her. When Cupcake was shot in the spine and told she may never walk again, she prayed to God for the first time in her life. She asked him if he would allow her to walk, then she would leave the gang. In that moment, Cupcake felt alone and helpless, and allowed herself to be vulnerable, if only for a second. Cupcake kept her part of the bargain because she saw that God kept his.

When Cupcake was “underneath the bottom” (309), she realized she had nowhere to turn but toward God, and again asked him for help. Admitting to herself that she needed help with her addictions was a huge step for Cupcake and the first step in a journey of personal Transformation. After that, Cupcake opened up to God, and with Venita’s encouragement, she formed a relationship with God. She prays for specific help, like a place to live and some furniture, and those prayers were answered. Looking back on her life, Cupcake realizes that Perseverance, Transformation, and Survival was not possible without God’s help, and she believes that her survival was no coincidence. Now, Cupcake no longer feels alone, and is firm in who she is: “V reminded me that if God had something for me, no one could take it—it was mine” (407).

Race is a constant motif in Cupcake’s memoir and a major influence in her life. Cupcake introduces her childhood self as dark-skinned, with thick untamable hair, and someone who often felt ugly growing up. Cupcake remembers how her mother always told her she was beautiful, but Cupcake never really believed it until decades later. Cupcake’s mother had straight hair and cocoa skin, which Cupcake always wanted herself.

Cupcake describes each person she meets by their appearance, as though she spent much of her time analyzing and comparing her own skin color to that of other people. When she started hanging out with peers who smoked and drank, Cupcake was relieved that race didn’t seem to matter in that group: “One good thing about hanging out with kids who drank and smoked weed is that it didn’t matter that I was black and they were white. The only color we all cared about was green—be it money or weed. Green was keen” (50).

When Cupcake joined the 12-step program, she was at first reluctant because most of the participants were white. Cupcake was sure that they would judge her for her skin color. What she found instead was that everyone there was accepting, and skin color was the furthest thing from anyone’s mind. She discovered that she had a lot in common with them anyway. The people that Cupcake met through the 12-step program were a true family who helped her feel loved and like she truly had something to depend on. People at the meetings were always welcoming and happy to see her, even without her substances and alcohol.