Absolutely Almost

The book explores parental expectations in detail, especially those expectations’ impact on the parent-child relationship itself. The narrative portrays Albie’s relationships with each of his parents differently, and those differences largely derive from the respective characterizations of Mom and Dad. Consequently, each parent’s expectations are expressed differently, and to different effect.

Albie and Mom’s close bond appears in shared rituals, such as the café visit and the bedtime tuck-in. Their closeness, along with Albie’s innate perceptiveness, leads him to discern his mother’s unspoken emotions. This is sometimes helpful, as Mom is rarely expressive. Her reserved nature ensures that her expectations of Albie are implicit; that they are present and weigh heavy on Albie, however, is undeniable. On some occasions, she is expressive—such as when she disapproves of Captain Underpants or when she encourages Albie to run for class treasurer. Even when her expectations remain unexpressed, however, Albie is cognizant of their existence: He senses Mom’s hope that he has dyslexia (and her subsequent disappointment that he does not have it); he also understands that his school’s emails leave Mom upset. Unable to fulfil his mother’s hopes, Albie is frustrated with himself instead of with the unrealistic expectations.

Dad is a more distant figure and embodies a father stereotype: someone loving and protective but preoccupied and disconnected. Where Albie wants Mom to be happy, his disposition toward Dad is slightly different. He longs for connection and approval from his father, which shows in his extraordinary patience as he waits well over a year to complete the model airplane together. Mom’s presence in Albie’s life is more constant—this is true of her affection, as well as her expectation. Dad’s presence, however, is sporadic. He and Albie have a great day visiting the Sea, Air, and Space museum and buy a model airplane together, but he promptly forgets his promise to build it with Albie. Dad comes home from a parent-teacher conference demanding perfect scores on spelling tests henceforth, but he later forgets to ask about the tests. His inconsistency and neglect create distance between him and Albie, who both admires and fears him; Albie makes excuses for Dad’s tardiness and disengagement with the model airplane project, and he is now so stressed by the spelling test that he tries to feign illness to avoid it.

Eventually, Albie overcomes the weight of these parental expectations. In his relationship with Mom, there is no definitive moment for this change; their continued affection and connection buffers against a single breaking point. Albie realizes that Mom loves him unconditionally—evidenced by her apologies and reassurance after Calista leaves, as well as after Grandpa Park’s dinner visit—and he understands how his worth as a son is not achievement-based.

With Dad, the disconnect leads to an outburst. When Albie realizes Dad completely forgot about the model airplane, the pedestal comes crashing down. Albie throws away the old, incomplete model, symbolizing the need for a fresh start for father and son. This fresh start occurs through Albie’s later honesty with Dad, eliciting Dad’s apology as they complete the new model together. Their newfound connection shows later when they share the Schaffhauser grilled cheese sandwich and discuss Albie’s class elections. Albie then feels truly understood by Dad.

Through the nature of relationships Albie has with his parents, both implicit and explicit parental expectations equally impact Albie’s self-esteem, though in different ways. It is honesty, coupled with parents’ adequately demonstrated unconditional love, that allows Albie to overcome and heal from these unreasonable expectations, and this eventually leads to a stronger bond between him and his parents.