Confess

Auburn, now 20, sits across from a lawyer and asks if she can pay using a sliding scale, but he says no. She moved to Texas three weeks ago, and she wishes she could still be in Portland. She knows she’ll need a second job to afford a lawyer. She calls Lydia, Adam’s mother, but it goes to voicemail. She tries not to cry, but she’s so unhappy about the choices she’s made in her life.

She sees a help-wanted sign alongside one that says “confess.” Looking closer, Auburn sees notes with people’s confessions, and she feels less alone in her plight. The door opens, and someone removes the help-wanted sign and replaces it with one that says, “DESPERATELY NEEDED!! BEAT ON THE DAMN DOOR!!” (15). The person stares at Auburn with relief and asks if she’s there for the job.

She agrees to go inside and finds herself in an art studio. He introduces himself as Owen Gentry. He’s an artist and has a showing soon, and he needs someone to track the transactions because his girlfriend, who used to take that role, broke up with him.

He asks her name, and she tells him: Auburn Mason Reed. He reveals they have the same middle name, and she laughs to herself that his initials are OMG. She follows him upstairs to his apartment, and he throws her a black skirt and white shirt. They fit. He pours them wine, and she meets his cat, Owen-Cat.

Auburn is moved by Owen’s art, saying, “It’s somehow sad and breathtaking and beautiful all at once” (25). As she looks at each painting, she sees they each have scraps of paper with confessions. She’s can relate to all of them. Because they’re people’s secrets they’ve probably never shared, she feels a sense of belonging. The confessions make her think of Adam and the confession she told him on their last day together.

Owen can’t believe Auburn is here. He hasn’t thought about her in a long time, but he remembers her. He considers how he hardly liked his ex-girlfriend, Hannah. He can tell already that Auburn has more depth to her, just by the way she looks at his art. He knows she would be shocked if she knew how much her past affected his present. He thinks, “Some secrets should never turn into confessions. I know that better than anyone” (32).

He finds her staring at the painting he titled “You Don’t Exist, God. And If You Do, You Should Be Ashamed” (32). She’s crying, but he doesn’t ask why. Instead, he explains how the evening will go. Regarding his art, he says he prefers not to know who wrote the confessions because he’ll feel obligated to the person who shared them. She suggests he sell the paintings to anonymous customers because people might be embarrassed that they connect to certain confessions. He likes the idea and decides to assign numbers to the paintings. They get to know each other more, but Owen is nervous about showing Auburn his true self. He notices that she’s self-protective, to which he relates.

Judge Corley arrives and speaks briefly to Owen. He asks about his father, which reminds Owen that his father doesn’t really care about him. Corley brings Auburn the number correlating with the painting she felt so moved by earlier, and she tells him there’s been a mistake and that one already sold.

The night ends, and most of the paintings have sold. Owen doesn’t want Auburn to leave, so he asks her if she’s hungry. She panics when she realizes it’s after nine o’clock, and she runs to make a phone call. He eavesdrops and hears her apologizing. When he goes upstairs, he sees she’s crying again, but she hides her tears when she sees him. He invites her to go to the bar where his best friend works. Auburn calls her roommate to let her know, and her roommate tells Owen that she’s about to give Auburn a secret phrase so she’ll know if Auburn is in danger.

Auburn goes to a bar for the first time, and Owen introduces her to Harrison, who mistakes her for Hannah. Owen asks what her story is, and she makes it clear that she wants to keep some things private. He asks her to dance with him, and she begrudgingly agrees. Once dancing, she’s intoxicated by his scent and touch, and she never wants it to stop. After they finish their drinks, he walks her home.

On the walk, Owen asks Auburn why she moved to Texas, and she says she hadn’t told him that. He’s afraid she’ll know his secret about how he knows her, so he blames it on her accent. He tells her he gets broken up with a lot because he tends to prioritize his artwork, and he has consistently loved his art more than any woman. She asks him about the best confession he’s received, and he offers to show her.

They return to his apartment, and he brings her to the room in which he paints. There’s a painting of his father, and when she asks the meaning of the title, he tells her it means “nothing but lies” (65). She reads the confessions he won’t paint because they’re too similar to other confessions. When she asks if the confessions upset his belief in people’s goodness, he answers, “It actually makes me appreciate people more, knowing we have this amazing ability to put on a front. Especially to those closest to us” (66). He feels like his life isn’t as bad as he tends to think.

In a smaller box are the confessions he never wants to read again because they’re too horrible. She hates the confessions in there as much as he does, so he shows her two of his favorites that show how good and loving people can be. She asks if he’s ever written his own, and he says he hasn’t. She challenges him to write about something no one else knows, and he says he will if she will. She refuses to let him read hers, but he says it doesn’t count as a confession if she keeps it to herself. She hides it among the others in the box and says he can read it when she’s not there. Then she tells him to walk her home.

He asks to use her bathroom to keep the night from ending. He looks in the mirror and thinks about her showing up tonight, understanding his art, and having the same middle name as he does. He thinks, “That could be fate, you know” (71).

On his way back from the restroom, Owen looks at a painting in the living room. It’s the last thing Adam made her before he died. She’s afraid Owen will criticize it, so she lies and says it’s her roommate’s. He says, “Incredible,” and she agrees that Adam was. She offers him coffee. She hasn’t been interested in a man since Adam, and Owen seems like he has his life together. Still, Auburn feels her situation doesn’t easily fit a new romance. She feels hesitant and excited.

He tells her he wants to paint her. He comes close and studies her face, which makes her breathless. She gets a large glass of ice water to calm herself, and he laughs. He receives a call, looks at his phone, and tells her he needs to go. She assumes it’s Hannah calling and feels angry, partly with herself. She says goodbye, and he tells her the call wasn’t from a girl. He approaches her as she stands with her back to him and rests his head on her shoulder. Her body involuntarily leans against his. He tells her he wants to see her tomorrow, and she says yes. She reminds him he didn’t want to mix business and pleasure any more after Hannah, and he tells her she’s fired.

He goes to leave and tells her to lock the door after him. He adds that she shouldn’t go into strangers’ apartments or let them into her apartment to use her bathroom. They flirt, and he notes that he loves the little shell-shaped soaps she has in the bathroom. He leaves the apartment but then knocks again because he remembers she needs to call her roommate at midnight. Auburn calls Emory, and she gets Auburn to use their safe word: “meat dress.” Owen asks her to take his hand through the chain-locked door, and the feeling when he touches her is electric.

She wakes the following morning when Emory tells her there’s a cop in their apartment asking for her. It’s Trey, Adam’s brother. He has a bag of pastries, but she soon realizes he’s there because Lydia told him she called an hour late, and he’s checking up on her. She explains she was working at an art gallery. She tells Trey which one, and he’s clearly unhappy. He knows it’s owned by Callahan Gentry’s son. Owen is trouble, he tells her. She assuages him by telling him she was already fired. He makes sure Auburn plans to come for Sunday dinner. She worried that she and Trey don’t feel the same about each other and that he would like more from her. Emory tells Auburn after Trey leaves that she doesn’t like him, and she likes the guy who was there last night better. She reveals she was in her room, eavesdropping.