Demon Dentist

Twelve-and-a-half-year-old Alfred “Alfie” Griffith’s fear of going to the dentist is so strong that he simply never goes. As a result, his teeth are in dreadful shape; several are rotten, and others have fallen out. A traumatic dental visit when Alfie was six caused him great fear; Mr. Erstwhile, the elderly dentist, tried and tried to pull a rotten tooth from Alfie’s mouth, enlisting the aid of the nurse, the receptionist, and other patients to help, with no luck. The tooth eventually gave in to the pressure of the forceps, exploding in Alfie’s mouth. After the awful procedure, Alfie discovered that the dentist pulled the wrong tooth.

Alfie lives with his father, whose chronic poor health results from his years as a coal miner. Dad has trouble breathing from too many years of exposure to coal dust; he cannot work and uses a wheelchair. Alfie’s mother died giving birth to him; since Dad cannot tend to the house, Alfie does all he can to care for their home despite their lack of income. Alfie and Dad love and care about one another very much.

To avoid the dentist, Alfie hides dental appointment notifications from Dad. The notifications sit in a pile atop the refrigerator, where Dad cannot see them.

Dad takes Alfie on make-believe adventures through storytelling: “Perhaps today, my pup, we will take a journey to the old haunted castle…!” (23). Alfie recalls their travels to slay a dragon, catch the Loch Ness Monster, escape a Cyclops, encounter the Abominable Snowman, and other adventures in which he and Dad are the heroes. Now that Alfie is almost 13, though, he feels that he may be too old for make-believe.

During guest speaker day at school, Alfie sits next to Gabz, a girl who others see as shy and quiet and who seems to hide “behind her curtain of dreadlocks, not making eye contact with anyone” (29). When the principal, Mr. Grey, cannot get the students’ attention, Gabz stands on her chair and loudly demands that everyone listen. Mr. Grey introduces the new town dentist, Miss Root. She is dressed head to toe in blindingly white clothes and a white lab coat, and her teeth are perfect. Alfie notices a stain of red on one of Miss Root’s shoes, and he wonders if it is blood. He cannot tell the woman’s age.

Miss Root demands that the children call her “Mummy” and reveals that Mr. Erstwhile is dead—stabbed by one of his dental instruments after a fall. Alfie sneaks a peak at Miss Root when she calls for a minute of silence to remember Mr. Erstwhile. While all the children’s eyes are closed, she tiptoes up and down, looking at their teeth. Gabz is the only other student who sees.

Everyone waves a hand in the air when Miss Root asks who hates going to the dentist, but Alfie stands up so that his hand is highest. Next, Miss Root asks for a volunteer. No one offers, but when she specifies that she wants someone who has not visited the dentist lately, everyone looks at Alfie. Alfie goes up front on shaky legs. He notices that Miss Root’s eyes are a deep black. She calls his teeth “absolutely abhorrent,” which causes the other students to howl with laughter. Alfie takes the toothbrush and paste she gives him—both “Mummy’s” brand—but does not want them. She tells Alfie that she will meet him again soon at her office. When he thinks to himself that they certainly will not, Miss Root whispers, “Oh yes, we will” (51).

Miss Root offers all the students her “Mummy’s” brand of sugar-free candies. Everyone takes some except Alfie, Texting Boy (who pays no attention since he never stops texting), and Gabz, who references the story of Hansel and Gretel to Alfie, indicating that Miss Root’s candies may not be safe. Curiously, the more sweets the children take from Miss Root’s cart, the more the candy seems to replenish itself.

On his way home, Alfie opens the tube of toothpaste, and some drops out. He watches it burn a hole in the road. He disposes of it in the canal; soon, the water appears to churn and boil, and dead fish float to the surface. School peers walk by without noticing, happily consuming the candies.

A social worker, Winnie, surprises Alfie when he arrives home. Winnie is loud and brash, wears mismatched clothing, and slurps the tea loudly when Alfie serves it. She also eats the only remaining chocolate cookies in the house, which Alfie and Dad were planning to have for dinner. Winnie notices that Alfie’s teeth (which she consistently pronounces “teet”) are in terrible shape and claims that her first duty as his new social worker is to make him a dental appointment.

Winnie asks for more chocolate cookies, and Alfie goes to fetch them, though he knows that giving over the last of them means that he and Dad will have no dinner the next night either. From the kitchen, Alfie eavesdrops on Winnie and Dad’s conversation. Dad explains to Winnie that his health is worsening, and he fears for Alfie’s future. He also says that Alfie “can’t cope all on his own” with the responsibilities of a sick parent and tending to the home (77). Alfie cannot be angry with Dad; he recalls that he has kept some secrets, too, like getting in trouble for leaving school early to get a new wheel for Dad’s chair. The realization that Dad will never get better brings Alfie to tears.

Upset, Alfie rudely hands over the last cookie to Winnie when she enters the kitchen. Winnie notices the pile of letters on top of the fridge. She reads one and realizes that Alfie has not been to the dentist for a long time. Alfie grows furious and tells Winnie to leave, but she tells him that she is there to help and that he may come to see her as a friend eventually. He flees to his room. Winnie knocks on his door before she leaves to let Alfie know that she will make him an appointment with Miss Root.

At school the next day, Alfie finds a note of cut-and-pasted lettering in his locker, calling for him to go to the boiler room at lunch. Gabz meets him there, wanting secrecy to share her news: She discovered that all over town, children who place a tooth beneath their pillow for the tooth fairy are waking to find horrific items instead of the expected cash. Gabz lists a wasp nest, a used verruca sock (worn over someone’s warts), a dead snake, live ants, and a huge scab; she shows the location of each discovery on a hand-drawn map that she created. Gabz herself found a still-moving bat wing just that morning. She claims that the “calling cards” are getting worse, with some being hundreds of centipedes and a pus-filled bandage. No one knows the culprit’s identity or how they gain entry. Alfie and Gabz briefly suspect Miss Root but cannot guess how she might be involved. Alfie mentions the hole-burning toothpaste. They decide to seek help from the police.

Police Constable (PC) Plank does not believe Alfie and Gabz’s story at all, not even when Gabz shows her map and Alfie mentions the terrible toothpaste. The officer tells Alfie that he and his “girlfriend” should leave; both Alfie and Gabz take more offense to the term “girlfriend” than being told to leave. PC Plank tells them that he has more urgent business; an elderly woman stole a scotch egg. Gabz smarts off about this “master criminal,” and PC Plank reacts by kicking them out. A dark and evil-looking cloud prompts Gabz to predict that the evil tooth snatcher will strike again that night.