How To Eat Fried Worms

The group, minus Billy, wanders around near the barns on Billy’s family property, searching for a good place to find worms. Joe suggests they dig from a manure pile, but Tom believes that’s unfair. Joe responds: “It comes from cows, just like milk” (6).

They dig instead in the apple orchard. Alan and Joe pull up a collection of large night crawler earthworms. They insist the worms must be big so Billy can cut them into bites and eat them off a fork. Tom wants to protest, but he realizes it would be fun to watch Billy choke down a night crawler.

Billy likes to think up smart ways to conduct his adventures. Last winter, when Alan bet him he couldn’t spend the night in a freezing igloo they’d built, Billy corralled a pack of dogs and brought them in with him, keeping him warm. For the worm-eating contest, which will be held in the horse barn, Billy collects an assortment of spices, seasonings, and condiments.

The boys bring in the first covered plate, napkins on their arms, and with great ceremony place it before Billy on an orange crate. They pull away the cover: It’s a huge night crawler.

The night crawler has been boiled; it lies “limply in the center of the platter, brown and steaming” (14). Billy argues that it’s not really a worm, but Joe retrieves a dictionary that defines a night crawler as a worm.

Tom takes Billy aside and reminds him about the minibike, adding that Alan will tell everyone Billy’s a chicken if he caves in. Billy agrees. He pours condiments all over the worm, then carefully munches and swallows every slice, pretending it’s delicious. Elated at his success, Billy dances around the barn.

He won’t stop dancing, and the boys get nervous and think he’s lost his mind. He lunges at them, and Alan and Joe run out of the barn. Tom falls over but gets back up, while Billy rolls on the floor, laughing. He jumps up and rushes outside, chasing the boys and taunting them for being scared. From a distance, Alan and Joe huff that they’re not scared but have to go home to do chores.

On their way home, Alan and Joe wonder if Billy will really win the bet. Alan will be in big trouble with his father if he has to pay Billy $50. Joe suggests they “spike the next worm with pepper” (22), which should make Billy sneeze uncontrollably. Still, Alan worries because Billy can be stubborn.

Billy stops before finishing the second worm. He tells Tom that what he tastes is mostly the ketchup and mustard he’s slathered on the slimy thing, but it’s the very idea of eating a warm that tastes bad. Alan and Joe tell him to hurry up or they’ll miss the movie. He finishes the worm, gulps, makes a face, and falls over backward. The boys rush over to check on him, but he’s just kidding. His mouth is empty; he swallowed all of the second worm.

Walking back from the movies, Tom tells Billy he’ll fry the next worm in cornmeal. Billy says it’s not the taste: “I can’t stop thinking worm. Worm, worm, worm, worm, worm, worm” (27). Tom says he’ll add parsley, and Billy can think “Fish fish fish fish fish” (28).

Tom describes all the ways they can have fun on the minibike, like driving up and down the church aisles during a sermon. He describes a fantasy in which they pour ink on a girl in class, hide in the closet, and, when the teacher comes for them, they burst out on the minibike, wearing “blood-red crash helmets and white jump suits” (29). Then they ride over to Mr. Simmons’ office and drive onto his desk, right past him, and out the window. Finally, they ride to a nearby town and join the Navy so the adults can’t punish them.

Tom picks up the skillet filled with sizzling fried worm and rushes it to the barn, where Billy pokes at it with a fork, trying to like it. Tom recites a silly poem that’s filled with names for different fish. He leans in and whispers “fish fish fish fish” (32) as Billy takes bite after bite and finishes the third worm.

Joe develops a plan to foil Billy’s success. Alan worries that it won’t work; Joe assures him that it will: “We got him thinking” (33).

During the eating of the fourth worm—Tom chanting “fish fish” in Billy’s ear—Billy stops and complains that Alan and Joe always stand in a corner, whispering, waiting for Billy to keel over. Joe insists they’re just watching; he offers to turn around. The two of them start sneezing uncontrollably.

Then he admits that, the other night, his father heard about the worm-eating contest, grabbed Joe, and shook him hard. He thought Joe ate a worm; when his mother heard, she fainted.

Impatient, Billy says he doesn’t care about Joe’s mom but wants to know what all the fuss is about. Joe, miffed, refuses and turns to leave. Alan begs him to stay and tell Billy about the danger. Joe makes Billy apologize for insulting his mother. Joe and Alan start sneezing again. Tom is becoming suspicious and says something, but Billy shuts him up.

Joe describes how his mother struggled to recover from her faint, and no one at home will tell him what the danger is. He and Alan resume sneezing, but Tom points out that it looks suspiciously like they’re laughing. Billy finishes the fourth worm.

After Tom and Billy leave, Alan and Joe sit up. Alan fears their ruse didn’t work, but Joe assures him he’s got Billy worried. They walk out, arguing about which of them laughed too much and made Tom suspicious.

Billy argues that Tom, who’s always calling Billy a sissy, should eat a worm. Tom says he never calls Billy a sissy. Alan points out that if Tom eats the worm, Billy will lose the bet. Billy offers to dig up an extra worm, but Alan pulls an extra one from his pocket, and Joe rushes off to cook it.

Tom feels very unsure about eating a worm. Just as Joe returns, Tom bolts for the door, knocks Joe over—the worm pan flying—and runs away.

Alone with the worm, Billy tells himself that Tom is the kind of guy who just can’t practice what he preaches. Alan goads Billy and says if he doesn’t eat the worm soon, time will be up, and he’ll lose the bet. Billy retorts that there’s no time limit, but Alan and Joe stand in a corner, whispering that Billy will give up. Billy stubbornly pours ketchup and other condiments onto the worm and, tearing off bits of it, consumes the slimy creature.

Alan asks his father to show him $50. That night, he can’t sleep, so he calls Joe and wakes him up. Groggy, Joe answers gruffly. Alan begs Joe to reassure him that they’ll win the bet. Joe answers that Billy is already breaking under the pressure.

Late at night, Billy dreams he’s at a crowded, noisy butcher shop where he orders earthworms, but the butcher brings back 10 the size of snakes. Then he dreams he’s at a fancy New York restaurant where they serve him a big, coiled worm. He eats and eats, but it doesn’t get any smaller; then snakelike worms coil on his legs and arms and hungrily stare at him.

Waking from the dream, Billy wonders if Joe was right about the danger of eating worms. He notices growling pains in his stomach and thinks he’s been poisoned by worms. He stumbles out of the bedroom.

Billy wakes his mother and tells her about his stomach pains. He confesses to eating the worms. She wakes Billy’s father, who tells them eating worms won’t hurt him, but eating too much ketchup and mustard might make his stomach hurt. Billy’s mom wants to call the doctor. Billy’s father replies that if Billy has eaten worms for five days, he should have gotten sick days ago. His mother says, “what about tapeworms or a fungus?” (58).

His mother sends Billy back to bed, where he hears his parents arguing. A while later, he hears his father dial Poison Control; Billy overhears that worms cause no ill effects. Reassured, Billy falls back to sleep. The next morning, it’s a bright, cheery day, and Billy feels fine.