I Lost My Talk

Fiction | Poem | Adult | Published in 2007

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Summary

Background

Poem Analysis

Themes

Symbols & Motifs

Literary Devices

Symbols & Motifs

“Scrambled”

In Line 9, Joe describes the result of her bilingualism as a “scrambled ballad” (Line 9). The use of this word suggests a mix-up and may conjure the image of a scrambled egg, which has two parts, the yolk and the whites, and mixes them together, so the parts are no longer distinct. In a way, that is what happens with the speaker’s—and the poet’s—language when she grows up speaking Mi’kmaq but then is suddenly forced to learn English and forbidden to use her first language. The resulting poetry comes out “scrambled,” implying that the confusion of both languages causes the speaker’s message to be unclear to her listeners. While learning and speaking more than one language can be a useful and powerful ability, the speaker views it less favorably, mostly because the languages she speaks are not equal in the eyes of society; one overshadows the other.

Ballad

Although the speaker laments the loss of language and confused “scramble” that results from her forced bilingualism, she nevertheless retains her sense of herself as a poet, describing what she is trying to produce as a “ballad” (Line 9)—a poem or song that resonates emotionally using a set structure. The speaker thus insists on the fact that she is an artist dedicated to a complex and storied genre. This insistence on cultural creation, even though she must contend with the fact that her deracinating school experiences forced her to “think like you / […] create like you” (Lines 7-8), shows the speaker’s belief in the beauty of language, particularly her native language. When allowed to speak the way she wants, she can draw out the musicality of words to create “ballads.” Coincidentally, this is exactly what Joe is doing in this poem—using words to draw readers into her emotionally resonant work.

Hand

In the last stanza, the speaker extends her “hand” (Line 13) to her audience, whom she imagines as the “you” that ripped her away from her culture and language of origin. The hand, on its own, requires no accompanying words, as the “gentle” (Line 13) gesture is a sign of truce or peace, as the speaker requests a pause, giving her enough time to reclaim her first language.

Hands have many meanings: In many cultures, handshakes or analogous hand movements symbolize a friendly introduction; at Catholic Mass, hands give the sign of peace; holding or pressing hands together is a gesture of friendship and support. Despite being the oppressed and aggrieved party, the speaker extends her hand, taking the high road of building bridges with the dominant culture by choosing to give of her own language. The hand extension is the first step in cultural reclamation and, ultimately, a system of exchange rather than imposition.