31 pages • 1 hour read
Meredith RussoIf I Was Your Girl
Fiction | Novel | YA | Published in 2016A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Chapters 16-24Chapter Summaries & Analyses
Chapter 16 Summary
After dinner, Amanda tells Grant to drive them to the tree house by the lake. He admits that she’s the first person he’s ever brought home, and she starts to tell him about her past, but they kiss instead. She eventually tells him that she hopes to attend NYU one day because she feels like people will understand her better there. He gets angry because he feels like she’s implying that he can’t understand her.
Chapter 17 Summary
Chapter 18 Summary
Amanda and Grant go to a Halloween party dressed as characters from Star Wars. Amanda makes a joke about Grant not having the bravery to be a girl, and this prompts him to switch their costumes. They go into the Halloween party pretending to be each other. She thinks there’s something “hilarious about the idea of me dressing as a boy, after so many years of trying to escape it” (157).
Chapter 19 Summary
Amanda and Bee hang out alone and play the truth game. Bee admits that she was raped, but she never reported it. She has felt guilty ever since because the perpetrator went on to rape other girls, and she feels like she could have stopped it if only she reported him. Bee’s vulnerability makes Amanda want to reciprocate, so she tells her plainly, “I’m a transsexual” (168). Bee immediately takes her picture to capture this moment.
Summary: "October, Six Years Ago"
Amanda thinks back to her old best friend, Marcus, and how he ostracized and insulted her after he found out that Amanda had a crush on him via her diary. She was still in a boy’s body back then.
Chapter 20 Summary
Virginia comes to town to visit Amanda, and Amanda realizes that she doesn’t want to introduce her to her friends for fear that they might realize that Virginia is transsexual. Instead, she invites Bee to hang out with them, since she knows the truth. This moment makes her feel like “two parts of me coming together” (180).
Chapter 21 Summary
The next day, Amanda tries to give Grant a letter that explains the whole truth about her past. He burns the letter instead of reading it because he wants her to understand that nothing she could say could change his love for her.
Summary: "Six Months Ago"
Amanda thinks back to when she was recovering from her transition surgery at home with her mother. Her mother was crying, thinking about the past and looking at baby photos of her. Amanda could tell she was missing her son, but at the same time, she was also supportive of Amanda’s new self.
Chapter 22 Summary
Chapter 23 Summary
The girls go shopping for homecoming dresses. Amanda realizes that she’s hurt Chloe’s feelings by hanging out with Bee. She understands that, even though she had “never been good being a boy” (199), at least some parts of being a boy made sense. She’s not sure how to make things better with Chloe and sees that girls’ emotions are complex in ways she doesn’t quite understand.
Chapter 24 Summary
The girls take Amanda to get her ears pierced for her birthday, and they reveal that they nominated her for homecoming queen.
Chapters 16-24 Analysis
In Chapters 16 through 24, the stakes get higher for Amanda. She has grown more attached to Grant and the girls, and she feels accepted and loved for the first time in her life. She no longer wants to just get through high school; she wants to live her life and enjoy it. This growing sense of attachment creates a simultaneous undercurrent of doom and danger. She’s fully embracing her new life, friends, and boyfriend, but she’s also aware that if the truth about her past surfaces, she could potentially lose everything. She can’t help but wonder if all the relationships she’s built would unravel if everyone knew the truth about her past. This fear keeps her at a distance with her friends. She’s happy to be there for them when they need it, but she keeps them at arm’s length to avoid revealing her past.
These chapters also demonstrate an internal turning point for Amanda. In Chapter 19, she tells Bee the truth about her past and who she is in the present. This is the first time she’s ever told anyone, besides her parents and support group, about her identity. This moment is a cathartic release for Amanda. Telling Bee makes her feel like her past and future are colliding into a present whole self, and this feeling is elevated by Bee’s accepting response. This moment also gives her the courage to be honest with Grant. In Chapter 21, she tries to give Grant a letter that explains her past. Although he burns the letter before reading, this attempt at full disclosure reveals Amanda’s desire to be fully honest with her friends. She’s at a point where she doesn’t want to hide her full self from her friends anymore, developing the theme “Friendship as a Catalyst for Change.”
