Sitting Pretty: The View from My Ordinary Resilient Disabled Body

Micah is Taussig’s second husband, a supportive figure in the book. The couple met through online dating, and he offers her a healthy relationship with someone who understands her accessibility issues. Together, they created a sustainable relationship. This contrasts with Taussig’s relationship with Sam, her first husband. She and Micah got married because she wanted to, not because she felt she had to settle like she did with Sam. She ultimately changed her view on walking down the aisle, feeling comfortable in her identity at her and Micah’s wedding, unlike at her wedding with Sam. Overall, Taussig and Micah’s relationship reflects her finally valuing her disability. Still, she deals with challenges in their relationship, including ableism from his coworkers and his later diagnosis with colon cancer. Micah’s “sturdiness” feels more like interdependence to Taussig, reinforcing her stronger understanding of self and disability.

Sam Wagner is Taussig’s first husband. The couple met when they were eight, became friends, and began a relationship when they were teenagers. They married when they were 22 and divorced soon after, when Taussig realized she settled for Sam because she felt her disability gave her no other choice. She also wonders if she married him because he had health insurance. Her relationship with Sam traces her understanding of self and disability because she initially assumed he would never be interested in her romantically. Taussig viewed their relationship as different compared to those of her friends or fiction and often worried about what people thought of Sam and her. While together, she faced teasing and comments on his strength whenever he carried her—both of which framed her as “lucky” to simply be in a relationship. When she pushed herself to meet the ideal of walking down the aisle at their wedding, she felt she lost her identity in the process. Taussig’s marriage to Sam contrasts with her second marriage to Micah because it was based on societal ideas about what people with disabilities “deserve.”

Bertie has been Taussig’s friend since middle school and became her roommate as an adult. The pair got jobs as assistant cooks at a summer camp kitchen, where Taussig realized she was only hired because of her disability. As adults, they moved into a house together, and Taussig agonized over making Bertie’s life harder by needing an accessible home—but Bertie’s father helped build a ramp. When Bertie got engaged, Taussig had to find her own place to live, and Bertie helped her look for options. Overall, Bertie is a supportive friend who understands Taussig’s capabilities and needs, illustrating the kind of support that people without disabilities can provide people with disabilities.