Something Borrowed

Rachel avoids Darcy for a few days, using work as an excuse, but continues to make time to talk to Dex. She finally meets Darcy for brunch on Sunday and immediately encounters Darcy’s superficiality when she insults Marcus. Rachel realizes Darcy’s “shallow tendencies” (103) were present all along, but she was unable to see them clearly until now. Darcy further infuriates Rachel by telling her she shouldn’t blow off Marcus because she won’t do better. Rachel is astounded at Darcy’s assumption that she is the prettier one and can have anything she wants, while Rachel’s choices are limited.

After brunch, Darcy asks Rachel to go shopping with her, to which Rachel agrees but lies and says she must work. Darcy laments that both she and Dex have to work a lot lately. Rachel is determined to be helpful to compensate for her guilt. When they browse for wedding makeup, Darcy talks Rachel into staying longer, but when she snaps at Rachel for responding that a lipstick is only nice, rather than perfect, Rachel’s lingering “remorse” turns to “full-blown resentment” (108). She blames Darcy for her own low self-esteem and for taking Dex, whom she suddenly decides was hers to begin with. When she finally leaves, Darcy warns her that she might demote her to bridesmaid and make Claire maid-of-honor.

As soon as Darcy is out of sight, Rachel calls Dex, who wants to come over. When they get into Rachel’s apartment, they start kissing in a way that feels like an affair, although Rachel reminds herself that they aren’t committing adultery yet. Rachel takes Dex over to the bed and tells him she wants to know more about him, to which he replies he wants her to talk first since she’s always been mysterious. He wants to know her feelings, not just facts, and insists that she’s a closed book. He tells her she’s beautiful and that lots of guys wanted to date her in law school, including himself. He figured she wasn’t interested and that’s why she introduced him to Darcy. Rachel and Dex get under the covers and Rachel thinks of all the things they will never be able to do together as a couple. But she reassures herself that she has him now, and the moment is theirs.

Rachel is constantly thinking about Dex, content to enjoy the situation before he marries Darcy. She talks on the phone to Darcy, who tells her she and Dex are going to the Hamptons. He encouraged Rachel to go as well, insisting he needed to see her. Darcy says she’s considering auditioning for the show Big Brother. Rachel knows Darcy is attractive enough, then looks in the mirror at herself. She decides she’s not as conventionally attractive as Darcy, but maybe has “a softness that she lacks” (119).

Dex comes over on the Thursday before the Hamptons trip. After they make love, he asks what they are doing. Rachel contemplates the answer, determining that there are many different answers. She settles on replying that she doesn’t know, and they both resolve not to talk about it until the Fourth of July—an arbitrary date she picks because it marks summer’s mid-point. The next day, Dex tells Rachel Darcy wasn’t home when he got home, and he had a message rhetorically accusing him of having an affair. She often makes the accusation jokingly, believing he would never do such a thing.

At the Hamptons, Rachel watches Dex and Darcy frolicking on the beach, unable to look away even though the interaction pains her. Rachel feels a sense of rage that he’s complicit in their performance as a couple, knowing full well that she’s probably watching. She’s also hurt and confused. She starts talking to Marcus as a distraction but ramps up the flirtation when she notices Dex watching. When Dex asks Rachel if she’s going in the water, she ignores him, pretending her headphones are too loud. When they are inside, Darcy tells Rachel she and Dex just had the best sex. At the bar later that night, Dex approaches Rachel and asks if she’s mad at him. She drunkenly tells him what Darcy told her, feeling angry even though she knows she doesn’t have a right to be since he’s made no promises to her. He insists Darcy initiated it. She decides the situation between them is over and goes to find Marcus.

On Monday morning, Rachel updates Ethan on the situation. He commends her for giving Dex an indirect ultimatum. She promises Ethan she’ll visit in the fall. After they hang up, Rachel’s boss calls and yells at her for mailing some papers instead of serving them by hand. Now that she’s in her fifth year at the firm, she’s less affected by criticism, and her boss’s tirade doesn’t bother her at all. Hillary comes by her office, and they decide to go to lunch. As they’re leaving, dozens of roses arrive for Rachel and Hillary inquires who they’re from. Rachel finds that they’re from Dex, who wants to see her later. Rachel tells Hillary they’re from Marcus, slipping the card into her purse without Hillary seeing it. Hillary demands to know details. Rachel lies and says she had a date with Marcus, and he professed his feelings. At lunch, Hillary tells Rachel that when she and Dex were arguing at the bar in the Hamptons, they’d looked like a couple.

Dex comes over that night and thanks her for seeing him. They apologize to each other. Dex explains that he felt obligated to have sex with Darcy since he’d been avoiding it. Rachel tells him she doesn’t want to talk about anything more until the fourth—mostly to prolong the life-altering decisions the conversation will require. The next day, Hillary tells Rachel she was at the same restaurant as Marcus last night and he was on a date with another girl. She’s impressed Rachel is capable of being so deceitful, but also hurt that she lied since she thinks of them as best friends. Rachel has imagined getting caught but figured it would be by Darcy and in a much more dramatic fashion. Hillary tells Rachel she’s figured out that she’s having an affair with Dex based on everything that transpired in the Hamptons and promises she won’t tell Darcy, whom she claims she doesn’t even like that much. Hillary demands to know the details and Rachel confesses everything, starting with the night of her party. Hillary wants to know if Dex is breaking up with Darcy, concluding that it sounds as though he is from everything Rachel has told her. She gives Rachel her approval, encouraging her to “go for it” (144).

Rachel and Darcy fly back to Indianapolis for the baby shower of their other best friend from high school, Annalise Giles. Darcy insists on the window seat, prompting Rachel to conclude that Darcy is “selfish, plain and simple” (145). Darcy also insists Rachel help her think of wedding favors, and they decide on a CD with Darcy and Dex’s favorite songs. Darcy’s dad picks them up at the airport and drops Rachel off next door at her parents’ house. Rachel appreciates the “monotony” (149) of her parents’ dynamic and that they’ve stayed together. Rachel’s mom starts asking about her love life, to which Rachel responds that there is “sort of someone” (151). She gives a few vague details—unsure if she’s describing Marcus or Dex—and her parents seem pleased.

On the way to Annalise’s baby shower the next day, Darcy asks Rachel how much she’s dreading the shower. When Rachel gives only a moderate response, Darcy says she’s surprised she’s not dreading it more because she’s single. Darcy further agitates Rachel by reminding her that she doesn’t judge it and wouldn’t have minded being single for a few more years, but the other girls at the shower are more narrow-minded. When Darcy sees Rachel is upset by her comments, she apologizes by saying the other girls are just jealous because Rachel works at a big law firm. Rachel claims she doesn’t care what the other girls think, but it’s only partially true because she agrees with them that being single at 30 is sad.

Annalise screams in excitement when they arrive at the shower. After Annalise introduces Rachel and Darcy to the guests they don’t know, she steers them over to some of their former high school classmates. Kim, a former classmate, sits next to Rachel on the couch and they make small talk about Kim’s husband and young twin boys. When another girl, Tricia, asks Rachel if she has any male prospects, Darcy chimes in that she has tons. Her comments make Rachel feel “even more like an emerging old maid” (157). The girls collectively tell Rachel not to settle. Annalise opens Rachel’s expensive present and Darcy attempts to steal the moment by bringing the conversation back to herself. All the girls seem impressed with the gift, even if Rachel assumes they’re really thinking it’s not bad considering Rachel’s life choices.

When Rachel returns home from the shower, her mom grills her about the shower and Darcy’s wedding. She refers to her mom as a “chatterbox” (160) who constantly craves details. Her mom also loves Darcy, and the two of them used to talk for hours in the kitchen while Rachel would start her homework. Rachel used to accuse her mom of wanting her to be Darcy, and she still harbors those same jealous feelings. Rachel tells her mom she’s tired of the wedding, and her mom wonders if it’s because Rachel isn’t in a similar situation. Rachel responds that it’s because Darcy makes everything about herself, then adds that she doesn’t deserve Dex. She hopes her mom doesn’t suspect anything after she says it, but her mom only tells her to be patient and that she won’t regret being a good friend to Darcy. Rachel knows her mom’s words of advice are true but doesn’t want to sacrifice her own feelings. She doesn’t want to settle for someone less than Dex.

Dex calls her and tells her he’s coming over when she gets home. He asks her about the shower, and she tells him she wishes he was there with her, in her bed. He returns the sentiment. He comes over the next day as soon as she lands, and they spend hours together. Rachel finds herself constantly wondering whether Darcy is better in bed when she’s with Dex. However, she’s also been allowing herself to start thinking about the future with Dex and prioritizing her own needs above Darcy’s. Dex talks about work and Rachel likes to listen to his descriptions of his coworkers. He tells her how the head of his group broke off both of his engagements. When he adds that one of the times was on the day of the wedding, Rachel asserts that she thinks it’s a particularly cruel route to take, as the engagement should’ve been broken off before the wedding day. She doesn’t want to picture Darcy being humiliated in her gown. As Dex ponders her comments, Rachel turns up the radio to drown out any further conversation on the topic.

Rachel decides to stay in the city for the Fourth of July, rather than heading to the Hamptons, and is happy when Dex decides to stay as well. They plan to tell Darcy they both must work. Hillary wishes her good luck as she’s leaving the office, telling her to be strong and not back out of about having the conversation with Dex over the weekend. Dex comes to Rachel’s apartment that night with wine and roses. They spend the evening together making love. Rachel feels like she finally has him all to herself.

They relish waking up together in the morning. Later, as they walk along the street, Dex tells Rachel he wants to take her on a dinner date. She hesitates, worrying they’ll be seen, and boldly states that they’re having an affair—which is the most she’s ever said about their situation. Dex tells her that being with her never feels wrong. They spend the day talking about everything but Darcy. When Darcy calls and leaves a message saying she misses her, Rachel refuses to feel guilty. Dex goes home for a bit then picks Rachel up later for their date. She realizes on the date that her unforgiving view of adultery is changing, and that maybe it’s sometimes just a part of following your heart.

The next morning, when Rachel and Dex are in bed together, he tells her he loves her. For Rachel, it is her happiest moment, “beyond perfection” (179). Rachel tells him she loves him too. As they stroll around New York, she feels like they’re a couple. Later that afternoon, Rachel feels a sense of panic creep up on her as their time together is ending. She waits for Dex to start the conversation they’ve been waiting for, but he only tells her he meant what he said to her earlier, “No matter what happens” (181). Rachel suddenly feels sick to her stomach and, when Dex asks what’s wrong, she tells him she’s sad it’s their last night together. He cryptically tells her it isn’t, but she no longer understands what that means.

The next day, they go toy shopping for a present for Dex’s coworkers, and Rachel begins to lose patience. Darcy will be home soon and their time together is running out. Dex buys dice at the toy store and asks Rachel her lucky number. She tells him double sixes and he rolls the dice on the sidewalk. Rachel tells herself if they are double sixes, her and Dex will end up together. When he rolls double sixes, Rachel feels as though their fate has been sealed. She looks at the dice as if they’re “a crystal ball” (185). Rachel decides to keep the dice. After Dex leaves, she feels they don’t need to talk because they confirmed their feelings, and the dice cemented their fate.