Spilled Milk: Based on a True Story

Domestic and sexual violence are topics which are considered by many to be taboo or simply too difficult to discuss. It is largely for this reason that sexual abuse often goes unnoticed or ignored, as the process of coming to terms with one’s abuse can take years. As K. L. Randis shows in her memoir Spilled Milk, she was gaslighted by her father into believing his abuse was a secret she must keep; for years, Randis lived unaware of the fact that her father’s treatment of her was unhealthy. Instead, she believed that all families went through similar experiences. Randis’s lack of knowledge regarding abuse and violence as a child barred her from the truth, as it took until her adolescence, and an observation of a healthy family, to understand that she needed to act. She wrote her memoir in the hopes that those who read it would develop the perspective necessary to prevent, identify, and escape abuse, rather than suffering in silence as she did for so long.

During the 1990s and 2000s while Randis was growing up, a nationwide spike in awareness of domestic and sexual violence led to the creation of several organizations dedicated to preventing these issues, as well as supporting survivors. Before this time, few support systems existed for those experiencing domestic and sexual violence, and the issue was often hidden to avoid shame or financial hardship (much like Brooke suspected of her mother in the memoir). This social norm of secrecy caused harm to countless individuals. After the creation of necessary organizations, a paradigm shift was still needed to ensure domestic and sexual violence were seen as issues worthy of attention and funding. While Yale University opened its Child Study center in 1911, the Yale Child Study Center Trauma Section was created in 1991—which would specifically study trauma in children and the effects that often linger into adulthood (“Child Study Center: History.” Yale School of Medicine). In 1994, the Violence Against Woman Act was signed by President Bill Clinton, which in turn launched the National Domestic Violence Hotline. This service has since been instrumental in saving lives and educating the public, and according to a 2019 report, receives over 600,000 calls and texts per year (“2019: A Year of Impact.” National Domestic Violence Hotline). Approximately one in seven contacts made to the hotline involve children, and 9% of callers are under 18. The hotline not only serves as a support and education platform, but works to refer people to much-needed services that they may be unaware of, such as legal resources, housing, economic support, and counseling.

In her memoir, Randis is referred to the Women’s Crisis Center where she meets a counselor named Midge. Midge becomes the person who educates and empowers Randis to report her father, showing how essential these services are to survivors of abuse. The Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN) was founded in 1994, and it serves as a hotline specifically for survivors of sexual violence. Another spike in the development of organizations dedicated to survivors of domestic and sexual violence occurred in the early 2000s, when the Center for Survivor Agency & Justice and National Center on Domestic Violence, Trauma & Mental Health were formed to research and train those whose careers or lives are affected by domestic violence (“About Us.” Center for Survivor Agency & Justice). Alongside these organizations, many individuals like Randis actively share their stories of survival in the hopes of helping others come forward with their own. Randis’s memoir asserts the importance of honesty, education, and support when it comes to both preventing and surviving domestic and sexual violence. Works like Spilled Milk make the topic accessible to a wider audience while illuminating the impact that abuse has on innocents like Brooke (Randis).