Surrounded By Idiots

“I don’t think I will make headlines by saying that most people you meet aren’t like you. Words can have incredible power, but the words we choose and how we choose them vary [...] And when you use the wrong word, well, maybe then you’re an idiot.”

Erikson invites the reader to become more curious about how their actions and words are perceived by others in order to choose the right method of communication for the situation. While it is easy to judge others, Erikson encourages the reader to consider how others may be judging them as well, since everyone has a different personality and communication style.

“But some people are different. Some don’t care. They are always themselves because they’ve never reflected upon how they are perceived. The stronger your self-understanding is, the greater your probability of adapting to the other people around you.”

The author contrasts people who are “always themselves” with those who have considered how others perceive them and alter their behavior depending on who they are speaking to, reflecting The Role of Self-Awareness in Communication. This quotation shows how the author values efficacy over authenticity, as he recommends that people work to become more adaptable to different people and situations rather than always behaving naturally.

“Throughout the book I focus on the single colors individually because they are the fundamental components of a person’s behavior. It’s like a recipe—we need to understand all the ingredients before we bake the cake.”

The author explains that most people tend to have a combination of two types, comparing this to the “recipe” that informs each individual’s behavior. This quotation adds nuance to the DISC system by clarifying that people are not limited to one category.

“This kind of intense and competitive behavior often upsets other people because they think it is all about dominating and suppressing others. Nothing could be further from the truth. His intentions were almost never malicious.”

Erikson discusses how the “Red” or “Dominant” behavior is often misperceived by others as being rude or mean-spirited. The author maintains that Reds generally enjoy competition for the sake of being the best, and do not mean to offend others in their pursuits. The passage is an example of the theme Personality and Compatibility, as some personality types conflict with others.

“People with lots of Yellow in their behavior are focused on creating relationships. They are outgoing and can be extremely persuasive. They’re enthusiastic, excited, and happy to talk about their feelings for others and, not infrequently, for complete strangers.”

Erikson explains that the “Yellow,” or “Inspiring,” personality type tends to prioritize relationships, easily making friends and new connections. He argues that, like Reds, Yellows are extroverts, but are more inclined toward cooperation than competition.

“Yellows have a unique way of expressing themselves that sways their listeners. They often use vivid and colorful imagery when they speak, which appeals to all five senses and creates an impression that is felt by the whole body.”

Erikson claims that Yellows are naturally excellent communicators who can persuade their listeners with their charisma, word choice, and body language. Erikson identifies this as a key strength of this personality type, which can be used to build relationships or to aggressively sway others.

“The reason why everyone works so well with Greens is a topic for debate. In some situations, it’s simply because they don’t like conflict. Mostly, however, it’s because they’re controlled by their desire to make those around them happy and satisfied [...] The desire to please others verges on being a driving force for Greens.”

Erikson points to Greens’ distaste for conflict and penchant for people-pleasing as reasons why the other personalities often work well with these individuals. This quotation also raises the pros and cons of Greens’ cooperative nature when it comes to collaboration and communication.

“They say Greens are introverts, that is, that they’re active in their inner world. This means that they don’t just talk for the sake of talking. When you are quieter than those around you, it’s natural that you listen. And Greens will listen. They are interested in you and your ideas.”

Erikson explains that Greens differ from Yellows and Reds since they are more introverted. While this personality is less forceful and confident than the more outgoing personalities, their listening skills often win them respect and help them in their professions.

“A Blue can rarely get too many facts or have too many pages of fine print. People say that God is in the details, and I can imagine it was a Blue who first said that.”

Erikson highlights Blue people’s interest in logic and detail, since they prefer to support their opinions with fact and analysis. Erikson associate Blues with thorough, careful work and a penchant for research.

“Blues argue that if they’re going to do something, they must do it correctly. And vice versa—if a task isn’t worth being done properly, then it’s not worth doing at all. Furthermore, because Blues usually find it difficult to lie, they will always point out the defects they uncover—even defects that may reflect poorly on them.”

Erikson emphasizes the detail-oriented perfectionism which is the backbone of the Blue personality. He explains how important it is for Blues to execute tasks well and to identify any problems or mistakes that might hinder their excellence.

“I don’t think this is necessarily correct, but I’ve even heard people speak about people with Red behavior as dictatorial and tyrannical. Suddenly the picture isn’t as flattering. The born leader reveals his blemished side.”

The author claims that what might seem like a strength to an individual could come across as a weakness or irritant to someone with a different personality, raising the issue of Personality and Compatibility. For instance, a Red who considers themselves a “born leader” may be perceived as overly controlling by a gentler personality.

“There are countless examples of Yellows who completely dominate a conversation. Then add a hefty dose of poor listening and an interesting (read: one-sided) communication takes place. Many people are hugely frustrated by this limitless verbosity.”

Erikson highlights how a Yellow’s strong communication skills and outgoing demeanor can have a downside if it is not tempered by The Role of Self-Awareness in Communication and an interest in others. He claims that other personalities may be frustrated by Yellows who are not able to have reciprocal exchanges.

“You often notice when a Red walks across a room. Since Greens are the complete opposite of Reds in many things, I can say that Greens make discretion a point of honor. It is not uncommon that they try to make themselves invisible. The reason? They don’t want to be the center of attention.”

Erikson contrasts two very different personalities, Reds and Greens, even calling them “opposites.” This quotation emphasizes the natural confidence of Reds which is evident in their body language, in contrast to Greens, who prefer to blend in and not to claim space or attention.

“It was as if the Yellows and the Blues had completely switched personalities. You could conclude that a good party consists of sober Yellows and Blues who are slightly under the influence.”

The author explains that the types’ traits are not static, as they may change according to the situation. For instance, at a work party where alcohol was served, Erikson observed that many people behaved very differently from their usual sober behavior.

“It may sound like a contradiction, but Reds would also like you to be determined and direct. Although he often demands that he makes all the important decisions for himself, he strongly dislikes dealing with vacillating people.”

The author lays out a strategy for dealing with the most dominant and controlling of the four personality types: Reds. At work, this impatient type prefers to keep interactions quick and business-like, valuing efficiency and decisiveness. This passage reflects The Importance of Adaptability for effective communication.

“Meetings are moved or forgotten; things disappear; whole cars are lost in parking lots. Keys are gone without a trace. Furthermore, many Yellows have no ability to plan their day [...] If you really want to help a Yellow get organized, make sure he gets at least some structure in his life.”

Erikson claims that Yellows are particularly disorganized in terms of keeping track of belongings, tasks, and time. In a professional environment, anything that helps Yellows develop a more structured approach to their work will help to minimize stress for themselves and others depending on them.

“In a perfect world, we would have an equal number of each color. The Yellow comes up with the new idea, the Red makes the decision, the Green has to do all the work, the Blue evaluates and makes sure that the results are excellent.”

Erikson claims that workplaces function best with a diversity of “colors,” or types, so that each aspect of a project, from the first ideas to the final edit, is executed correctly. This quotation underlines Erikson’s argument that each personality should be valued for the strengths that it brings to the table to address issues of Personality and Compatibility.

“However, it’s important to note that a Red doesn’t consider himself an angry person. He’s just given someone a piece of his mind or maybe raised his voice at him. Again, it’s just a way of communicating. But to a Green, it might seem that a Red is angry even when he’s just sharing his opinion.”

This passage develops Erikson’s theme about The Importance of Adaptability in helping different personalities communicate effectively. The author emphasizes how easy it is for very different personalities to misunderstand each other; for instance, the passionate and dominant Red does not mean to seem angry or overbearing, but is often perceived that way by the Green type.

“Her face was indecipherable, and her gestures were as limited and moderate as always. While the rest of us ate our lunch on the go, she took her full sixty minutes and ate in peace and quiet [...] Then one of my Yellow-Red colleagues said, ‘She’s not normal. She doesn’t have feelings in her body.’”

Erikson reminisces about working with a Blue colleague during a stressful period at their company. While the more outgoing types vented about their stressful workloads, this Blue professional remained reserved and unflustered. The author uses this example to support his claim that Blues tend to keep their emotions to themselves, and that they have an effective internal system for regulating stress.

“Suppressing a Yellow’s spontaneity is like holding down the lid on a saucepan when the milk is boiling over. It simply doesn’t work. It creates a terrible mess, and everyone gets involved when Yellows—loudly and intensely —invite everyone else into their stress spiral. Remember that a Yellow’s stress will always be noticed.”

Erikson emphasizes that managing employees with their personality traits in mind cannot change all of their behavior. As the most outgoing and expressive personality type, Yellows often share their thoughts and feelings with others and therefore inform the tone of a workplace. This quotation suggests that there are always aspects of a colleagues’ behavior that one can, or cannot, influence.

“In 1928 he published his work Emotions of Normal People, in which he investigated the differences in the behavior patterns of healthy people. Earlier, both Jung and Freud had published studies involving mentally unstable people, but Marston was a kind of pioneer who provided the foundations for what became known as the DISC model, the model that is the basis for this book.”

Erikson credits William Marston with developing the DISC model which is the foundation for the personality categories used in this work (See: Background). The author points out that while early psychologists had focused on mental illnesses, Marston wanted to understand emotions and behaviors in the healthy population. By calling Marston a “pioneer” and praising his approach, the author tries to ground his claims in legitimate scientific insight.

“They’re phenomenal at spreading rumors. Even making the smallest change starts off a storm of gossip in the lunchroom. Speculations about one thing after the other. Usually completely incorrect and based on the wrong information. It would be easier if they came straight to me with their questions.”

Erikson quotes a Red manager who finds it difficult to understand her Green employees. This quote highlights how Greens tend to avoid conflict by discussing their problems amongst themselves rather than confronting the issue head-on. This passage reflects Personality and Compatibility, showing how a Green’s aversion to conflict can be interpreted as backstabbing by a Red type.

“Inside the room, there was a strange calmness. Their voices were quiet, and they were all listening rather than speaking. The chief goal was stability and security. Five of the managers were sitting quietly, listening to one of their colleagues telling a sad story about his dog who had tragically died of old age that same winter.”

Erikson recalls separating different personality types into groups to work on a certain task. The Green group was slow to begin the task, as they were focused on maintaining harmony within the group and listened carefully to one member’s personal story. This passage helps Erikson show that a diversity of personalities is necessary for groups to successfully generate ideas, distribute tasks, and complete projects.