Survival of the Friendliest: Understanding Our Origins and Rediscovering Our Common Humanity

Humans evolved in small, egalitarian groups that valued social currency and punished those who tried to monopolize power. For thousands of generations, these groups spread across the world, but the advent of agriculture marked the beginning of despotism. The ability to produce and store large quantities of food led to larger societies where autocrats could hide within anonymous populations, stirring subgroups to fight each other for control. This new social structure laid the groundwork for tribes, kingdoms, empires, and nation-states, where power struggles became the norm.

As societies grew, they were often ruled by the most powerful subgroups, leaving less powerful or minority groups voiceless and oppressed. People fought against this hierarchical order for centuries, but even successful rebellions typically resulted in new despots taking power. This cycle continued until the Industrial Revolution, when some Western European societies began forming constitutional democracies. The English Bill of Rights in 1689 limited the king’s power and established free elections and freedom of speech in Parliament, setting a precedent for other countries to follow. These democracies built checks and balances into their systems, ensuring that those out of power were never completely powerless and fostering a norm of power-sharing and compromise.

Political scientists attribute the decrease in violence and unprecedented peace of the last half-century to the rise of democracies since the 1970s. While democratic countries do go to war, they rarely, if ever, wage war against each other. Democracies are designed to defend human rights and maintain egalitarian principles, protecting even those groups that fall from power or never held it. Democratic countries tend to have better human rights records, support freedoms of religion, press, and speech, reduce income inequality, and promote economic growth. They also generally provide better healthcare and education, contributing to the overall well-being of their citizens.

The American Founders, aware of humanity’s tendency to form group identities and fall into mutual animosities, designed a system to mitigate these issues. They established a strong central government to promote a national identity and protect the minority from the tyranny of the majority. The US political system includes mechanisms like the Electoral College, checks and balances, and separation of powers to prevent any single group from gaining too much power. The Founders explicitly referred to human nature in the Federalist Papers, designing a democracy to keep humanity’s darker side in check.

Despite its flaws, democracy has proven to be the best form of government for harnessing the better angels of our nature. However, democracies are vulnerable to becoming too democratic, facilitating intolerance and leading to “hyperdemocracy,” a form of populism that can give rise to dictators. The alt-right, a group with far-right ideologies, has gained traction in various countries, promoting intolerance and dehumanizing those who threaten their group identity. People high in Social Dominance Orientation (SDO) or Right-Wing Authoritarianism (RWA) are particularly prone to dehumanize outsiders, leading to increased violence and societal division.

To address these challenges, the authors argue that it is crucial to understand and counteract dehumanization. Encouraging contact and interaction between different groups can reduce perceived threats and promote empathy. Schools, universities, and other institutions can facilitate sustained friendly contact, helping to dissolve negative stereotypes and fostering tolerance. True friendship across groups has a powerful impact, as evidenced by those who risked their lives to help others during the Holocaust. Understanding and promoting these humanizing interactions is essential for maintaining healthy democracies and mitigating our darker tendencies.