The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward

Daniel H. Pink’s The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward challenges the popular adage of “No regrets” that pervades Western culture. Beginning with French entertainer and world-renowned singer Edith Piaf’s hit song “Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien” (French for “No, I do not regret anything”), the adage inspired other musical artists, public figures, and advertising agencies whose art, reputations, fanbases, and overall effectiveness benefited from the mantra’s popular appeal. It is no surprise that a mantra that champions abandonment of the past and refusal to experience the uncomfortable emotion of regret would draw in crowds and even become a popular tattoo.

In The Power of Regret, Pink argues that the philosophy is not only nonsensical and untenable but a mere performance. Pink consulted 50 years of academic research in cognitive science, neuroscience, social psychology, and developmental psychology to develop an understanding of why regret exists and how it operates. In 2020, Pink conducted the World Regret Survey, the largest and most inclusive public-opinion survey ever conducted on the topic of regret. Of the 23,000 people surveyed in 109 countries, 82 percent believed regret was at least occasionally a part of life, 21 percent indicated they experienced regret all the time, and only 1 percent indicated they never felt regret. Through the survey and interviews with some participants, Pink found not only that regret is exceedingly common but that even the biggest proponents of the “No regrets” philosophy experience regrets. In fact, a study conducted in 2004 revealed that the inability to experience regret is a sign of brain damage; participants who did not experience regret after choosing a losing roulette wheel had lesions on the orbitofrontal cortex of their brains.

Through his research, survey, and follow-up interviews with about 180 survey participants, Pink found that although the mantra of “No regrets” may sound appealing, it contradicts the science behind the emotion and provides improper guidance for living a fulfilled life. Contrary to the notion that one should avoid negative emotions and focus on the positive, negative emotions are adaptive and serve an evolutionary purpose. Without them, people would not learn and survive, and the positive emotions would mean less without the negative emotions to compare them to. Pink argues that regret is one of the most common emotions because it is useful, and that acknowledging regrets (rather than banishing them) provides an array of benefits. In The Power of Regret, Pink organizes the responses garnered from the World Regret Survey to categorize regrets into four categories he refers to as the four core regrets (foundation, boldness, moral, and connection regrets). These regrets align with a human need and value that informs what people want most out of life. Because of this, paying attention to regrets can significantly benefit our lives and allow us to move forward with greater insight and understanding. Pink argues that rather than abandoning regrets, we can leverage them to improve our decision-making and performance and make our lives more meaningful.