The Tender Bar

The author explains that his grandfather grew up in an abusive Jesuit school, which Moehringer blames for his grandfather’s life-long stutter. He claims that, like the house, his grandfather let himself “go to pot” (29), not bathing for days and wearing old, dirty clothing. Moehringer shares that his grandfather became financially successful in his old job selling insurance, yet lived as though he were poor, even digging through trash cans for used newspapers instead of purchasing one. Moehringer relates how he tried to connect with his grandfather through their shared love of words and reading, with some success. However, when Moehringer’s mother told him how negligent and cruel his grandfather was to her growing up, he decided to focus on his relationship with her instead. He also promised her that as soon as he has a good job as an adult, he would use his money to send her to college, her life-long dream.

Moehringer recounts the first time he met his father, who suddenly arrived and took Moehringer to a neighborhood party. Weeks later, J. R. noticed that his father was no longer on the radio. When he asked his mother where he went, she explained that he fled the state in order to avoid being sued for child support. Moehringer recounts that his mother finally told him about his father’s abusiveness, including assaulting her and others on their wedding day and threatening to kidnap J. R., or kill her, should she pursue him for child support. Moehringer learns that his name, John Joseph Moehringer Junior, or “J. R.” for Junior, is also his father’s name, which he pleads with his mom to keep a secret.